Imminent Independence

We went to preschool today for a visit, so that I could get a look at the place and see how max would handle it. It was a kind of dress rehearsal. And I liked what I saw so we’re going to start pre-school for real next week. My little dude will be on his own and out of my line of sight for 2 mornings a week, Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 11:30.

The idea of preschool used to fill me with a weepy fearfulness. Even leaving him at the childminding facilities at the gym was too much for me to bear the few times we tried it. I’m sure every parent hates leaving their crying child, and given my proclivity for anticipatory anxiety, it wasn’t going to happen.

The big difference now is that I know other people can reason with him the same way I can, and he’s shown a lot of interest in socializing with other kids and doing other things. On some level, I think I’m boring him. I don’t take it personally, I get bored with our routine too.  He’s ready to play with other kids, and learn from other adults.

There is a small part of me that is appalled at the ‘conformity practice’ he’s going to get, like sitting quietly when you’re told and following the instructions of authority figures, but that is the secret hippie buried deep inside of me. I don’t know where it came from and I want it to shut up. As much as I want my boy to be a free-thinker and individual, he will not always be able to call his own shots. Life will require him to get in line and do his homework assignments, it’s just the cost of doing business.

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